Review: ‘I Love You to Death’ is dead on arrival

Regal Entertainment assembled a group of teenagers similar to a “mean girls clique” where there’s someone who is pretty but dumb, a girl who has a voracious appetite for food, an exchange Korean student who has a Japanese sounding name, another pretty girl who appears to be the group leader, and a not so attractive girl but excels in academics.

Unlikely pair. Enchong Dee and Kiray Celis as lovers in Regal’s ‘I Love You to Death”

The latter is played by Kiray Celis, and her character is the main protagonist in I Love You to Death, which also stars Enchong Dee.

In the rom-com directed by Miko Livelo, Celis plays Gwen, the only member of the group who is single. But that changed when from out of the blue, Tonton (Dee) appears and offers her a marriage proposal.

At the onset, Tonton’s motive is clear — he just wanted to marry Gwen as soon as possible. Suddenly, he starts killing the people who disapprove of their union. And interestingly, those who just play a minor part in the movie, like the macho dancer during Gwen’s Bachelorette party and the wedding gown designer, are also eliminated via Tonton’s killing spree.

On their wedding day, it is finally revealed that Tonton is already dead. This revelation prompts Tonton to kill Gwen’s friends, who are present at their wedding, except her parents.

Once everybody is dead, the now monster-looking Tonton tells Gwen that he just wanted to marry her because of a promise that he needs to fulfill – they made a vow that they would marry each other when they grow up.

Tonton died on the day when he decided to meet with Gwen. He tried to chase the motorcycle driver who stole Gwen’s bag. In the process, both Tonton and the biker faced a fatal accident and died on the spot. This part of the movie explains why Tonton’s dead body kills people. He emerged from his grave when he heard Gwen’s wish, which is to have a boyfriend who is “patay na patay sa’akin.” And the only way to stop him from killing people is to put him back to his grave.

With a storyline that’s confusing at the same time inconsistent, it begs the question whether or not Miko Livelo was possessed, too, when he was directing the film.

I Love You to Death is pretentious and confused in many levels. Starting off with the characters inspired by most chick flicks up to simplest logic like playing bowling on high heels, which no bowling center would allow. The film is a rom-com in the guise of a horror flick. Tacky it is, right? The jokes, amid Celis’s perfect comic timing, are unapologetically passé.

To emphasize my point, I Love You to Death is a product of a terrible writing and of imbecilic direction. Only a dimwit would buy its resolution because, in the general scheme of things, even horror and fantasy films should still have a little sense of logic and reality.

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