Are you ready for Machete?

by Nickie Wang

In Indian literature, Machete does not exist but in a story created by a komiks writer and a movie director, he is an Indian prince of love whose spirit possesses a male statue to satisfy the sexual cravings of women.

Originally, Machete is a wooden statue of an Igorot warrior that turns into a living stud when the sun sets and goes back to its original form when the sun rises. The character was first portrayed by Cesar Montano in 1990 and reprised by Gardo Versoza in 1994. Both films were classified strictly for adults.

Last week, it was announced that the Kapuso station is set to revive Machete through a television adaptation that will be topbilled by Aljur Abrenica.Yes, the Kapuso talent that parades his sculpted physique whenever possible was handpicked to breathe life into  the role, Dingdong Dantes was also among the choices. The upcoming series is slated to be part of GMA-7’s primetime block in 2011.

If the new Machete would follow the original story, it means it will feature a scantily clad Aljur from Monday to Friday. To complete every scene, Machete would need a leading lady that will desire him every night, and of course this person should match the allure of younger Rita Avila and Rossana Roces who became Machete’s sexual partners in the movie version. Now you can imagine why GMA-7 is resurrecting the legend of Machete. Sex sells indeed.

Since it’s a television adaptation, there will be limitations to make conducive to be watched by a younger audience. But do parents have to worry that Machete is going to be a flesh fest on TV? With MTRCB on the look out, we hope that it will not happen. In fact, there were several television adaptations made in the past. In ABS-CBN’s Super Inggo, Derek Ramsay played the role of the legendary statue in 2006. Also in the same year, fresh from Star Circle Quest, Joseph Bitangcol reprised the role in an episode of Komiks, which was written by the original creator of the character.

Krissy’s desperate attempt

Kris Aquino will drag son Bimby and the finalists of Pilipinas Got Talent on the set of Showtime to help her do the famous “sample-sample,” a showcase of talent wherein a judge sings or dances to please the madlang people (studio audience).

This is just one of the promotional stunts Kris is willing to do just to encourage the public to support the horror film Dalaw, an entry to the annual Metro Manila Film Festival that starts Dec. 25. It’s up against several blockbuster veterans. Moreover, she becomes even more visible on TV even without a show. In a live television interview on TV Patrol, a rather scripted conversation took place where Kris invited news anchor Ted Failon in a dinner date, apparently on the premiere night of Dalaw.

Some people speculated that Kris and Ted are an item based on the first’s revelation that she frequently talks to the news anchor and that they are textmates. The truth is, this just another promotion material for a show which Kris and Ted will be hosting.

Most-searched personalities

According to Google and Yahoo! Philippines, boxer Manny Pacquiao is the most-searched personality of 2010 in the country.

Based on the local version of Yahoo!, Pacman is followed by Kapamilya darlings Anne Curtis and Shaina Magdayao, respectively, as the most interesting topic for Filipino netizens. Anne became the talk of the town in summer due to a wardrobe malfunction in an Asap taping in Boracay while Shaina became a trending topic when malicious reports came out that also involved her boyfriend John Lloyd Cruz. The three are followed by Kris Aquino, Willie Revillame, Marian Rivera and Mariel Rodriguez.

On Google’s report, through Zeitgeist 2010, the boxer champ is followed by Miss Universe 4th runner-up Venus Raj, Anne Curtis, Willie Revillame, Kris Aquino and Charice as the fastest rising local newsmakers. With a detailed report as well, Agua Bendita, Pilipinas Got Talent, and Myx Philippines are the fastest rising local TV shows. None from GMA-7 programs entered the top ten list in this category.

Meanwhile, teen chanteuse Charice is the most-searched local music artist. The international singer is followed by Sarah Geronimo, Jovit Baldevino, and Mocha Uson.

Did Google and Yahoo! just prove that Kapamilya shows and stars are more in demand than its closest rival? What if AGB Neilsen and TNS Kantar Media put their hands on these data? Just a thought.